Wednesday 21 September 2011

How To Be Annoying (A Guide)?

* Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you %26#039;%26#039;like it that way.%26#039;%26#039;

* Drum on every available surface.

* Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

* Staple papers in the middle of the page.

* Ask 800 operators for dates.

* Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.

* Sew anti-theft detector strips into people%26#039;s backpacks.

* Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

* Specify that your drive-through order is %26#039;%26#039;to go.%26#039;%26#039;

* Set alarms for random times.

* Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.

* Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

* Honk and wave to strangers.

* Dress only in clothes colored Hunter%26#039;s Orange.

* Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

* Tape pieces of %26#039;%26#039;Sweating to the Oldies%26#039;%26#039; over climactic parts of rental movies. * Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary mints by the cash register.

* ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

* only type in lowercase.

* dont use any punctuation either.

* Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

* Pay for your dinner with pennies.

* Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

* Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: %26#039;%26#039;Do you hear that?%26#039;%26#039; %26#039;%26#039;What?%26#039;%26#039; %26#039;%26#039;Never mind, it%26#039;s gone now.%26#039;%26#039;

* Light road flares on a birthday cake.

* Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

* Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

* Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

* At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

* As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

* Stand over someone%26#039;s shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

* Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.

* Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

* Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

* Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce %26#039;%26#039;No, wait, I messed it up!%26#039;%26#039; and repeat.

* Drive half a block.

* Name your dog %26#039;%26#039;Dog.%26#039;%26#039;

* Ask people what gender they are.

* Reply to everything someone says with %26#039;%26#039;That%26#039;s what YOU think.%26#039;%26#039;

* Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.

* Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a %26#039;%26#039;real hoot%26#039;%26#039;.

* Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don%26#039;t want to fall off %26#039;%26#039;in case the big one comes%26#039;%26#039;.

* Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.

* Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers%26#039; brains, such as %26#039;%26#039;Feliz Navidad%26#039;%26#039;, the Archies%26#039; %26#039;%26#039;Sugar%26#039;%26#039; or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

* While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

* Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

* Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

* Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

* Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it%26#039;s a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each A.

* Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

* Chew on pens that you%26#039;ve borrowed.

* Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

* Wear a LOT of cologne.

* Ask to %26#039;%26#039;interface%26#039;%26#039; with someone.

* Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your %26#039;%26#039;superior mental processing.%26#039;%26#039;

* Sing along at the opera.

* Mow your lawn with scissors.

* At a golf tournament, chant %26#039;%26#039;swing-batatatatatata-suhWING-batter!%26#039;%26#039;

* Finish all your sentences with the words %26#039;%26#039;in accordance with prophesy.%26#039;%26#039;

* Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn%26#039;t rhyme.

* Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about %26#039;%26#039;psychological profiles.%26#039;%26#039;

* Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a %26#039;%26#039;magic picture%26#039;%26#039;.

* Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

* Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.

* Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you%26#039;ll be saying more any moment.

* Never make eye contact.

* Never break eye contact.

* Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

* Construct elaborate %26#039;%26#039;crop circles%26#039;%26#039; in your front lawn.

* Construct your own pretend %26#039;%26#039;tricorder%26#039;%26#039; and %26#039;%26#039;scan%26#039;%26#039; people with it, announcing the results.

* Give a play-by-play account of a person%26#039;s every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice.

* Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

* Make appointments for the 31st of September.

* Invite lots of people to other people%26#039;s parties.

* Send fifty copies of this list to everyone you know.
How To Be Annoying (A Guide)?
An annoyingly good one, thanks!!
How To Be Annoying (A Guide)?
Hehehe!!!! I love it! %26gt;:)



MORE MORE MORE! :D

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OMG I absolutely love your sense of humor. Seriously, if this list is original, you have a promising career in comedy. You could write scripts for comedies as well. :D

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I%26#039;m reading this during a break I%26#039;m taking while writing my History Day paper... it%26#039;s really funny! I feel a lot less stressed! THANKS A MILLION!

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Another long question that isn%26#039;t really a question, but just a long list of whatever.
wow
OMG,,,,,, Shorten it then someone will read it
Yep, that definitely would be annoying.

lol
Well i read it all.....ignore the others.....i can imagine you are funny wherever you go...How many times have you been thrown out of places........................LOL
Another long question that isn%26#039;t really a question, but just a long list.
I liked the last one: SEND FIFTY COPIES OF THIS LIST TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW.............